Turn toward your spouse

Life is a balancing act. Between work, kids, spouse, friends, family, church, and so many more obligations it can be hard to prioritize what is important and weed out all of the fluff. When life is crazy busy and kids and other obligations are pulling you in every direction, it is really hard to focus on turning toward your spouse. By the end of the day both of you just might be so exhausted that working on your relationship is the last thing on your mind. It is important to find time to foster this relationship though. Even if you can only find 10 minutes here and 10 minutes there, it is worth the investment. D & C 64:33 says "Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great." It is really important to lay a strong foundation little by little, so when the hard times hit you can make it through with your relationship still in tact. Every day little things that you do to turn toward your spouse may not seem important or may not even seem like they need to be a priority but I don’t believe that life is ever going to slow down so today’s little ten minute time slot might be the only time you have for a bit. Take advantage of it.

Some of the little ways I stay connected with my husband is by asking how his day was. I also try to hug him more than I used to. I watch TV with him at night. Before our last baby was born we used to go on dates each week. We will try to get back to that when we can. I think a way of connecting with him spiritually is when we do scripture study. This new home study program has helped us be more diligent about talking about the scriptures we are reading and not just read straight through them. An old Bishop of mine used to have this challenge for our ward. He used to call it the “Ten Minute Miracle”. His idea was that if we would faithfully spend ten minutes really studying the gospel that we would see miracles in our life. I feel this same concept will work with our marriages. 10 minutes here and there can create some huge changes in our lives.

One huge challenge that my husband and I face in turning toward one another is finding quality alone time. Our children always seem to be in need of something or need to be taken somewhere. We seem to be on the go a lot. One thing that I try to do to face these challenges is give my husband the choice of which kid he wants to help at that moment. He seems to help me more when I give him the choice. I think this goes right along with valuing my husband’s input. Back when we only had one or two children I did most of the house things myself because I could, and because my husband worked all day. Now that we have more kids I can’t seem to get everything done...EVER...so I have been relying on my husband more. I also used to make a good portion of the decisions myself too. Now I am learning that two heads really can be better than one. There is always a second way to do something and my way might not even always be the best way.