Family Council

The older I get, the busier my life seems to get. I am still waiting for that magical time where things slow down just enough for me to breathe a little. This hasn’t happened yet. This is why family councils are so important. My husband and I are best friends and at the beginning of our marriage we took time every day to connect with each other. Now that we have four kids this seems really hard to do. We are so busy running children to various activities and then putting kids in bed at night that there just doesn’t seem to be any time left to talk about important topics. I believe this is why the church thinks it is so important to hold family councils. It is important to discuss things as a couple but it is also very important to involve your children in family matters. My oldest has always made it known that he wants his opinion heard and validated. Even if we go a different direction he likes to feel like we are listening to him. In the book Counseling with our Councils Elder Ballard gives advice on how to hold a council. I love how he points out that when the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles holds a council that each man comes from a different background and that they are not all “yes” men. These are not people who agree all the time. Yet they still make compromises and get things done. Each voice gets to be heard. I liken this to my own marriage where I know that my husband and I have similar goals in life and we are each trying to do what’s right, yet we don’t always agree. It is ok to put a topic aside until you both come to an arrangement that you feel comfortable with. In the councils with the quorum of the twelve nothings sounds forced or heated, I wish I could say the same in my own home. That sounds like a good goal to strive for.

I have a very strong personality and I like to do things my way. Within the last few years I have been trying to take a back seat and let my husband lead more. I am learning that there isn't just one right way to do something or get somewhere in life and that having another’s input can help immensely. I had years of unnecessary stress that I put upon myself because I thought I needed to come up with all the answers on my own and then implement them. Now that I have given a lot more of the power over to my husband I have noticed I am a lot happier and my stress level has gone down.