Become One Flesh

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 If you are going to fully “cleave unto your wife” or husband than it is important for you to build a relationship with your in-laws. After all, this is where your spouse came from. This is where they spent their whole lives and these people are probably really important to them. Even if they come from a less than ideal family, building a relationship with them can help you enhance your own marriage. It can help you see why your spouse does certain things.

For example, my husband cannot be serious about anything. When my kids talk to him or ask him a question he makes a joke. It sounds fun, but it gets old after awhile. My kids never know when to take him seriously or not. We are pretty close to our extended family and we have been married for 20 years. When we go visit his family his dad and his brothers also cannot take anything seriously. They are constantly making jokes and trying to one up each other to make each other laugh. Because I know this now I know that it is something that came with him into our marriage and not really something that is going to change overnight. I have asked him to try to make sure it is an appropriate setting when making light of a situation and he does try to tone it down a bit at home.

Another thing that he does that totally stems from his family is his drinking problem. If you have read my other posts you know I am not talking about alcohol. I am talking about Dr. Pepper. Every time we go see his parents his mom makes sure that she has a few 2-liters of Dr. Pepper just for my husband. I have asked her several times not to do this but she still does it. Growing up in a small town there was not a ton of things to do as a family and a favorite family bonding time was running down to the gas station to grab a soda. My husband is passing this on to my children even though I have asked him a thousand times not to. We do not need to spend money on that and it is not healthy for our children. I know, I know...I sound really strict. Believe me, my kids get enough junk to eat at home and school they do not need to be drinking soda.

I could use all of this as a source of contention in my marriage but I do understand that this is how he was raised. He enjoys running down to grab a drink with his mom and now his kids. I do allow him to do it on special occasions but not as many times a week as he would like.